She smells her

I saw this outside one of the city's most expensive fashion retailers a few months ago. Had I not seen them exiting the store, I would not have known that they were probably at the perfume counter.

On another note:
I have been sidetracked from my usual rounds of commenting due to corruption - CORRUPTION and VILENESS in my memory stick, not the one in my head (although that one is occasionally corrupted), my computer one. I lost many, many images, including some art project sessions that I haven't posted.

I am trying to let this loss float away, tra-la-la. Cleansing. Yes, cleansing. Um, it's kinda working. I shall visit a pro recovery person to take a look, not at me, at the stick. It's a sign that I should be painting more, not worrying about fecking BACKUP corruption shite.

I lost a back alley shot of the outfit I wore yesterday to go vote, my Kiss of the Spiderwoman Dress from Pao (seen here last), with my new big crappy shoes (at the bottom of this post). Guess I'll just have to wear this combo again, and again for fecking BACKUP, but also because I love it so.

To cheer myself up I went window shopping for a new/used camera this morning. Kinda worked. Didn't buy anything... I'll have to go shopping again tomorrow for BACKUP. Living life in duplicate. Tra-la-la.

Lurex in the alley

As the bouncer of this back-alley speak-easy I should practise looking more formidable. I'm afraid this look says, "Um, don't come in here, okay? You're so tall and your brass knuckles are making me anxious. Don't make me step outside my comfort zone, please? You'll regret it? Grrr." I was loathe to brace myself against the walls because I had not brought any handiwipes and I'm simply not getting paid enough to do so.

Details

• powder-blue lurex dress, thrifted
• powder-blue beret, thrifted
• ivory bamboo tights, retail
• long-sleeved white T, sample sale
• patterned socks, retail
• falling-apart booties, retail
• magic pendant, made for me by O
• other neck stuff, thrifted

After my 18-hour shift and time out for good behaviour, my boss gave me ten minutes for a lovely lunch of day-old peanut butter and jelly on white bread at the abandoned car lot across the way.

After my long shift, it's no wonder I had to punch up these photos with photo editing, which I don't normally do for my outfit posts other than contrast adjustments to compensate for poor indoor lighting.

My booties are almost done and I wear them with the attitude, "Hey, I LIKE them like this." The stretchy coating is peeling off the uppers, the seams are coming unsewn at the back, and I've had the heel taps replaced several times. There's nothing left to do but paint these suckers. I tried marker on the right boot just before I went out, but paint will work best.

I'm hooking this outfit up to Patti's Visible Mmmmonday at Not Dead Yet Style. Yeeeeah. I'm tired after my long shift so if you wouldn't mind just strapping that backpack of Long Island Iced Tea to my back and sticking the straw in my mouth I would be much obliged. See you there through bleary eyes. (Okay, not really. I'm fine, although recovering from a weekend photo safari, Sandra's term.)

Photo Editing Details if you're interested:

Junkyard photo:

• blurred and de-coloured some of the background which creates depth and focus on the foreground
• saturated colour on me and the foliage, especially on my socks, necklace, and lipstick
• adjusted the brightness and contrast

Bouncer photo:

• same as above except for I didn't blur and desaturate the background

I never "fix" my wrinkles or play with my eyes unless it's part of an overall filter - it feels too cheaty. These changes may not be easily detectable at first glance, but what you see is unnatural in real life, for example, the fence is very blurry and it's less than a foot behind me, not to mention the nearly black-and-white world in the background, but sometimes that's more real-feeling than I can stand. Depending on the time spent, any mediocre photo can be elevated with tweaking. So don't sweat your VOGOFF photos; editors here are standing by.

I decided to do this shoot outdoors by myself with my tripod, which I have only done a couple of times, but I see so many of you braving the public alone I decided to go for it. Except for the eyes of several highrises upon me, I was alone. I was safe, I liked the challenge, and I like the results. What can be better than that?

Pant-theist: worshipper of pants

I wore this on Wednesday. Outta my way, I'm spewing uber-ness.

In fact, I was spewing such an incredible amount of uber-ness that I was raring to burst into the board meeting of my imaginary haute couture magazine in New York where I would fire the entire fashion editorial staff in favour of running my global empire single-handedly from the pool house at my mansion in Malibu. Without breaking a sweat, naturally.

Step. Spew. Step. Spew. Lively ubers in my wake.

These glasses frames with clear lenses were only $15. I shall need new glasses soon and thought these would be good testers of one of my favourite designs, the big Os. Sadly, I think my lenses will probably be too thick for these huge orbs, and I don't think my brows, forehead, and brain would benefit from the expansive prescriptive realm. Another style would probably better suit my face shape. Regardless, I shall wear these glasses again because I do like the style and they complement my chronic bitch face, yes.

Details

• glasses with clear lenses, $15 from thrift shop
• front zip big pants, vintage, thrifted. It took a lot of care to resuscitate these poor neglected darlings. Note how the pattern matches up so magnificently in the front (also in the back)
• suede vest with 4 front snaps, vintage, thrifted when I went out with Sandra.
• black boat-neck T with 3/4 sleeves, thrifted
• D&G shoes, thrifted
• magic loupe, O made it for me

And the hot pink delight below I also bought while thrifting with Sandra. I haven't worn it out yet and I'm not sure if I shall - the shorts are very, very short and I haven't worn shorts of any description for years, except for sports.

Oooh, another view, this time with the jacket which is looking rather haggard here because I didn't do it up correctly. When it's properly fastened, the jacket is form-fitting and the same length as the shorts creating the illusion that I forgot to put on my pants. So fun!(?)

Details:

• hot pink boucle jacket and side-zip short shorts, vintage, thrifted, size L(!)
• mustard tights, retail
• sunglasses, vintage, thrifted
• orange ruffled satin blouse, thrifted
• big shoes, retail, big sale

And I liked my hair in this shot.

And finally, this is a closeup of the shoes I got in the big sale I mentioned in the last post, $37. They are poor quality but I love the style.

AND - Uh oh, I've been doing big art again as you can see in the background, oil pastel on paper. This particular piece is ongoing - I like it that way.

I hope you all have a swell weekend. Will you be wearing shorts? 



My big man pants

My biggest fear with these pants was that people might try to throw garbage down them.

My big man pants - so big I don't have to unzip them to put them on. I love them. But I needed to find a way of keeping them up with minimal sewing. My solution: thrifted vintage suspenders (braces) and silver studs with a cross motif. The studs were tricky to hammer on because the waistband fabric was multilayered. To keep up the cuffs, I made black leather tabs using the suspender tabs as a pattern and whacked in more studs, four on one leg, two on the other (I ran out of studs, minor detail).

When I wore this outfit for the first time this morning, I had on heavy-duty black army boots for a Charlie Chaplin air, but I chose these lighter flats for an early evening stroll with O. He took this photo.

(ed. note: I wore this on Friday. I wore the big hat in the earlier post on Thursday.)

Details

men's big dress pants, wool, free from time-sealed treasure chest, upcycled

under-pant black jeggings, sample sale

vintage suspenders, thrifted

2 long-sleeved T-shirts, retail

sweater, thrifted, shortened and kittified

beret, thrifted

vintage sunglasses, thrifted

tool box handbag and magic loupe, from O

shoes, retail

These pants would also be ideal for an all-you-can-eat buffet because the legs would hold several days' worth of food, although getting home might be troublesome.

I'm hooking this up to Patti's fabulous Visible Monday. Finally, I'm on time for this one.

Do you have sewing shortcut secrets? How do you hoist, pinch, and tuck? Or perhaps you are skilled with needle and thread, all the better! See you at Patti's. I hope you have a wonderful week.

On another note, Miz Bagg went out with Sandra on the weekend for a photo shoot and we took some wretched photos, a few truly hideous ones, which made the outing so incredibly satisfying. It's the permission we give ourselves to fail miserably and be humiliated that makes it fun and gives us quite a laugh. If you're wondering about submitting to VOGOFF, remember, there are no mistakes. Some of the best photos are mementos of the greatest flops. Don't think too much!

Blurred image in black and white

What would give me away? A few stray threads? A hole in my tights? A stain on my hat?

Am I the crazy lady down the street or the woman from Paris here to approve plans for the new hotel I'm building in Whistler? If I walk with rolled shoulders, hesitant steps, and furtive glances, I'm on my way to a costume party, but with shoulders back, a graceful gait, head held high, and a ready demure smile, I am the mysterious woman with a story to tell. Who is that?

People who know me know that I am expressing my Paris self with one foot in the present and one in a romantic past, the dreamer, the impish idealist. People who don't can take their pick: crazy lady, sophisticate, perhaps an artist or all three. The tool box handbag might be just what it is - O's tool box with my things jammed inside. Or is it the latest "it" bag from Milan? One thing is certain: if there's a stain on my hat, it's a tool box; if I am impeccable, the bag may be $$$$ and the pearls might be real.

As I pass, I blur in people's vision, which is the best way to preserve a stereotype. Careful scrutiny would show the cracks in the image - dry hands without a manicure, a lack of makeup except lipstick, and inexpensive hair. But I am just myself and I am content. To my knowledge there were no stains showing but I did have a small hole in the toe of my tights. Any stray threads were also all on the inside, simple tickles in the seams. But who's to know that? I wonder what/where/who tomorrow may bring.

Details

• high-waisted skirt with matching bolero jacket, thrifted from movie wardrobe sale, upcycled from a dress, I finished the bolero last night
• tool box handbag, from O
• wide-brim hat, San Diego Hat Co., thrifted, $7
• tuxedo blouse, thrifted
• pearls, thrifted
• mid-heel pointy shoes and tights, retail

The weekend is here. Cheers! I had an immensely satisfying thrifting expedition with Sandra the other day, her first time out. I can't wait to show you the sweet spoils of our hunt. PLUS, today on the way to my coffee shop, I noticed that a pair of shoes I've had my eye on for months and months were marked down from $124 to $37. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!...I knew nobody else in Vancouver would want them. So ba-bye sophisticated Paris woman - hello Thrifty Glutton! 

Hope you're all well. I'm doing the rounds, slowly but surely. Mwah.